What Happened To Simon?

Today is one of those “stare blankly at your computer screen while remaining otherwise motionless for hours at a time” kind of days. But maybe that’s the Daylight Savings talking. Last week was pretty uneventful, but you wouldn’t know  that if you looked at my instagram! I was on that thing like gangbusters this weekend. Some notable highlights:


My first published article in Maine came out on March 8th for Dispatch Magazine! In it, I explore the finer points of Colby College student fashion, as well as the more important issue of the imminent zombie apocalypse. How can those two things be discussed in only one article? You will have to pick up (or download) the spring issue to find out! Suspense!


Here is my contributor photo and everything you needed to know about me in 100 words or less.


My friend Anna and I went to the bead store here in Portland, and I don’t have the words to describe how unprepared we were. First of all, Caravan Beads is not a store. It is a (giant) warehouse. A warehouse stocked wall-to-wall with beads. Beads as far as the eye could see, I shit you not. I felt simultaneously excited, overwhelmed, and confused. Eventually my brain shut down completely and I was reduced to burying my hands into the large boxes of beads in the center of the store. I left empty handed, feeling more lost than ever.


Until we went to Urban Outfitters, which was a pleasant surprise! I found a few hats that will help me to appear mysterious-yet-mindful-of-the-suns-harmful-rays this summer. Those hats paled in comparison, though, once I found these HAIRPIN PRINTED SHOES. They are those ones that are made of cloth and smell like rubber and are 2 for $20 and did I mention the hairpin print? THEY ARE SO AMAZING and I kind of want to buy two pairs of the same shoes because these will get worn out so fast. HAIRPIN PATTERN I ❤ U.


I found this nail polish from Essie’s spring line at Rite Aid, and I damn near squealed in delight. It is the perfect spring/summer color! I kind of want everything to be this color.


But we need to talk about Simon now. I found Simon’s collar outside our apartment on Sunday, and it looks like it’s been out there for a while, possibly buried under the snow. Simon was not attached to this collar in any way, so I worry. What happened to Simon? How did he get his collar off? I haven’t called the number yet, but I think I will and hope that he is at home with a new/better collar. Though the color combo will be hard to beat.


In non-Simon related news, Avery thinks he can fit on the shelf above the oven, which, yea I guess technically he can.


I finished off the weekend by baking these glorious biscuit cinnamon rolls from Joy the Baker and they were SLAMMIN. Ultimate Sunday dinner.

If any of you hear from Simon, please tell him I have his collar and, no, he can’t have it back.


4 thoughts on “What Happened To Simon?

    • God damn it, Pauline. I even went back to the email I sent my blurb in because I was like, NO, I couldn’t have. I know the difference! But the sad truth, as I discovered not three minutes ago, is that I did fuck it up. I did it. Thank you…:)

  1. i just want everyone to know that i hate grammar trolls and i would have never left such a comment on any other blog. and also CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

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